


Running

by love_killed_the_superstar



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Eggpreg, F/F, Feral Behavior, Gem Egg Hell, Gemlings, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Sexual Content, On the Run, Oviposition, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, pearl doesn't literally go feral she's just super needy and makes irrational decisions because of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2018-09-30 18:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10169399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_killed_the_superstar/pseuds/love_killed_the_superstar
Summary: Pearl is known for making bad decisions, but she's pretty sure stealing Bismuth's bubble from the temple and dropping off the face of the Earth is one of the worst so far.(Bispearl gem egg hell, canon divergent as of Tiger Philanthropist.)





	1. just a moment

**Author's Note:**

> I'M THE ACTUAL WORST I ALWAYS SAY I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY DEADLINES AND THEN I CHURN OUT A BUNCH OF UNRELATED FANDOM STUFF.  
> So bispearl egg hell is underrated and there's virtually nothing for it which sucks!!! so i'm here doing it my way. and i have a vague plan this time around (shocker) so even if stuff comes after it later on, this fic is sticking to be 5-6 chapters long.  
> So I've been listening to Just The Way I'm Feeling by Feeder and dang... if that song ain't bismuth AND pearl in a nushell... dang

Pearl should have known a private rendezvous in the forge after hours with Bismuth would be a mistake.

How could she have allowed such a thing to happen? She was always so careful during the rebellion, always making sure that there was no possibility of heat interfering with her emotions when she would lie with Rose, or Bismuth, or anyone else (not that there had been many; she had maintained until the end that her metaphysical heart belonged to Rose and that would not change). She was always so careful not to become a liability to the Crystal Gems, but now it seemed at the worst time, her gem was behaving strangely.

There was a near constant pounding, her body was constantly fluctuating in temperature, and she knew her scent was lingering. Amethyst had teased her about it just a day ago. (“Geez, Pearl, I know you're not getting any but seriously, take care of it already!” Much to her mortification, Amethyst was mistaking it for her heat cycle.) It was still a better alternative than the gems learning of the nature of her condition. She wasn't sure how Garnet would react, given how she had refused to speak about Bismuth's bubbling since it had happened. But Pearl knew eventually there would be no choice.

Earlier that day she had taken Steven and Connie to the Buddwick library, and returned with a collection of books. Hidden in between books on neuroscience and British history (which, when asked about by Steven, she had feigned an interest in picking apart their alternative views of history) was a singular book on human pregnancy. It was humiliating that she was having to resort to a book that only vaguely mirrored her own gestation period, but the few books on Era 1 reproduction that had been left behind on Earth after the rebellion were so badly damaged that they were falling apart in her hands, and the terminology was so archaic, even by her standards as the oldest Crystal Gem on Earth, that she couldn't understand a lot of what the ancient gem writings were talking about.

So here she was, casually sitting on Steven's couch, reading through a pregnancy book and trying hard to convince herself that she was overreacting. So maybe this overpowering scent really was her heat cycle! Maybe these hardened shapes she could feel moving around inside her weren't geodes at all, but some old food from centuries ago that she had never managed to digest? It would explain how nauseous she was feeling all of the time...

The more she thought about it, the more she trembled with the knowledge of her condition. How could she kid herself like this? She knew perfectly well what her and Bismuth had done, and she also knew that there was no hiding it from Garnet or Amethyst. Despite this, it seemed Steven was the only one who had noticed how sickly she had been in the past week or two. He spent a lot more time in the house than the other two, and surely he had seen Pearl running into his bathroom at one point or another to retch and gag and spit into his sink, only for nothing to come up.

“Pearl, are you feeling okay?” As if on cue, his voice rang out and whisked her away from this spiral of worry. He and Connie were stood expectantly in front of her and she quickly snapped the book shut, turning it blurb side up to hide the nature of the book from them.

“Oh! Steven, Connie! I didn't... were you trying to talk to me? I'm sorry, I was reading...”

“I was just, um, wishing you a good evening,” Connie said, worry and confusion evident on her face. “We called you at least four times. Is there something on your mind?”

“Not at all,” Pearl said quickly, jumping to her feet and clapping her hands together. “Not at all. I'm sorry about that, Connie. Are you leaving now?”

“Yeah, my mom's here to pick me up. Are you sure you're okay?”

“I'm fine, Connie,” Pearl said steadily, with an abundance of confidence she didn't currently possess. “Go on, now. And tell your mother we said hello.”

With a bow of her head, Connie turned to give Steven a hug and then made her way out the door. As soon as it shut, Steven turned to Pearl.

“What's really going on?” he asked with a frown. “You aren't just spacey, Pearl, I've seen you using the bathroom more, I've heard you throwing up in there. Are you sick? Can gems... even _get_ sick?”

“Oh, Steven, it's really nothing!” Pearl assured him desperately. “I've just had a lot on my mind lately, what with all that's happened. But I assure you, I'm all right.”

“But you're sick, why won't you just tell me what's happening?” Steven pleaded. “We're family! We're supposed to tell each other this stuff!”

“I know,” Pearl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I know we tell each other everything, Steven. I'm fine, really. I... can I just ask you not to tell Garnet and Amethyst about this? At least for now. I suppose you'll all have to know eventually but, there's something I need to do on my own first.”

“You're scaring me,” Steven admitted, watching her with big eyes, and she felt her throat tighten.

“I'm fine,” she said sharply, heading back towards the temple. “Please give me some space, Steven.”

 

…

 

Oh, she was absolutely _not_ fine!

She knew that the changes to her light-composed form during this pregnancy would be drastic but she never anticipated feeling so restless. It took Pearl all her strength not to scream. She'd left the book between the couch cushions but she couldn't risk retrieving it without making Steven suspicious, so she had been attempting to meditate the discomfort away. But every light particle in her body was itching to go to _her._ To Bismuth's bubble.

Frantically, she reached into her gem and pulled out a bound collection of books and documents she had recently gathered, groaning with the strain it put on her gemstone. A book from Rose's armoury, an artefact believed to bring fertility from the sky spire, a document she had taken from the lunar sea spire long before its collapse and stashed in her own collection, among many others. The pieces were so few and far between that she couldn't build a full picture on what should happen to her, but stars knew she was going to try.

“Let's see here.” She picked up the statue and hurriedly read the ancient gem scripture carved into the base. “Two gems shall become one... one must bear the burden of gem incubation while the other protects... at any cost the gems must be born into the new world...”

Useless, almost a prophecy. Telling naughty gems just what would happen to them if they dared to step out of the strict guidelines of Era 1 reproduction. She placed it down atop her fountain once more, disappointed, before flicking through badly damaged pages of the book.

_An expectant (dame) gem will soon know she is chosen. It is the job of her sire (the donor gem) to [illegible] in order for her to carry all young gems to full incubation. She will experience strong [illegible, scribbled out in some parts] due to the pull of her sire's presence. It will be [such an archaic term even Pearl couldn't understand] and will last for the duration of the incubation, although will lessen over time._

“It doesn't help,” she groaned desperately. She glanced in the direction of the bubble room, mouth dry. Garnet would notice. Garnet would know, oh, she would know the moment Pearl went for that bubble... she couldn't. She couldn't!

She shut her eyes tight.

“ _The Pearl I know never jumps into my arms!”_

Pearl hugged herself tightly and took a deep breath, trying and failing to ground herself. Bismuth was unattainable right now. How she wished she had always greeted her like that, swept her up in her arms. A familiar presence she feared she would never feel again, only to have it cruelly ripped away... it hurt. And it hurt even more knowing that the gem she had once loved could be behind it all.

 _Once._ My, she really had taken a step forward, hadn't she?

“Bismuth,” she moaned, lying down on her side, fighting off the urge to tear through the temple. “Bismuth.”

All she wanted was to be around her. Was that too much to ask? Could Garnet really keep her away? How could they call themselves Crystal Gems while one of their own was bubbled away for wanting to win the war? They had lost everyone and then she had come _back._ And now her and Pearl were more entwined than ever, bound by something so powerful her own judgement was becoming disoriented as a result.

She stood up.

“ _Pearl.” Bismuth barely managed to get out her name before Pearl kissed her with desperation, need after thousands of years without. After a beat, Bismuth reciprocated, and Pearl found herself being sat on Bismuth's work bench, their bodies crushed up against one another._

“ _You trust me, don't you?” Bismuth asked, almost pleadingly. At the time, Pearl didn't understand._

“ _Of course I do! With my life. I will never doubt you.”_

She tried to stop herself, again, as she found herself in Amethyst's room, desperately searching for a puddle, not just any puddle, _the_ puddle. She only hoped that Amethyst hadn't seen her looking. She held onto a protruding crystal in vain, and shakily tried to stop herself.

“ _All I want to do is be with you again,” Bismuth breathed between kisses. “I want to hold you in my arms again and be there. I don't want to be second best to Rose anymore.”_

_Again, Pearl still didn't understand. If she did, maybe they could have sorted things out sooner._

“ _Bismuth, she's gone. I, I've taken so long to get used to it, but right now all I want is to be with you too.”_

“ _You wanna get down to bismuth?” Bismuth chuckled dryly at her own joke, before kissing Pearl again._

“ _I... Bismuth, that's a lot to ask.” Pearl stopped kissing and stared at her, heat rising in her cheeks. “I don't know what to say.”_

The puddle, the puddle! She dove through it without even thinking of the bubbles she could potentially burst in the process. She fell straight through, hitting the ground with force, and lay there winded for a few moments, staring up at the colours all around. All of these gems were gems that could have been saved... if only Rose had told her...

“ _You don't have to,” Bismuth promised, cupping her cheeks. “I don't care if we don't mash it up, I just want to be with you a little longer. That's all, honest!”_

“ _I believe you,” Pearl murmured, pressing a kiss to her nose. “I do. I, I was just surprised. I want all of you.”_

_Bismuth's face broke out into a smile that could have blinded even the diamonds. “You're something else, Pearl. I... I love you for that.”_

“Pearl, what are you doing?!”

When Pearl came back to her senses, the door was closing behind her and Steven was sat up in bed, horrified.

“St-Steven. You're awake...”

“What are you doing, Pearl? That's, that's Bismuth's bubble!” he cried. She stared down shakily at her hands, holding onto the bubble containing Bismuth's gem. Seeing it there, knowing Bismuth had spent more time rusting in a bubble than she had out of it, and knowing this was the sire of the gems in her belly...

“I have to keep her,” she cried out, holding the bubble to her chest protectively. “Steven, I have to!”

“B-But we agreed to keep her bubbled,” he protested, jumping down onto the couch. The book Pearl had left earlier jolted, its corner poking out from beneath one of the cushions. “Pearl, Garnet said she needed time to cool off!”

“They've already forgotten her, but I haven't!” Pearl snarled, trembling violently. She could feel tears filling her eyes, _stars,_ she just wanted to hold her again. “I'm not leaving her there any longer, Steven! She's coming with me!”

“But! But Pearl!” Steven's eyes darted around the room. “Garnet! Amethyst!”

“Don't!” Pearl cried. She stumbled onto the warp pad, amazed that her legs were carrying her at this point. “Just... you can't, Steven. I can't put her back.”

Steven opened his mouth to speak, and the warp activated.

Pearl was gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably isn't my best work, but seeing people reading my stuff is such a motivator when shitty deadlines are keeping me busy, so this feels like a nice little side project to work on whenever i take a break. let me know what you think?


	2. time to heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steven finds a book, amethyst learns a thing or two about gem biology, and pearl gets a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow fast update!! turns out when you don't want to do your work you get so much writing done on your breaks!!  
> thanks to everyone who's been reading so far! it means a lot! without further ado, lets get down to bismuth!

Steven stared at the warp pad in muted horror. Pearl had been acting strangely for the past few days, that was for sure, but this was too far – she had taken Bismuth's bubble and ran away, for crying out loud! This far surpassed the definition for normal Pearl behaviour, even if she had made a few questionable decisions over the last year or so.

He racked his brains for what to do next. He had no idea where Garnet and Amethyst were – probably out on a mission since they hadn't made any attempts to stop Pearl. He had no idea where Pearl was going, or what she was planning on doing with the bubble. He swallowed nervously, heart hammering wildly in his chest, and then felt something digging into his shin.

A book? It was the book Pearl was reading earlier, stuffed hastily beneath one of the couch cushions. On a normal day Pearl would never treat a book like that, unless if it was something inappropriate for Steven's eyes. But then again, on a normal day Pearl wouldn't be caught kidnapping Bismuth's gem from the bubble room.

He honestly didn't know what to believe anymore.

Steven pulled out the book and peered at it. His brow furrowed.

“A... book about having babies?”

Sure, it was an innocent enough topic, but then why was she hiding it?

The more Steven went over the facts in his mind, the more confused he felt.

The warp pad sounded, and his gaze shot up.

“Pearl?!”

Garnet and Amethyst landed from the warp stream, and Amethyst quirked a brow in confusion.

“Hey Steven. Shouldn't you like, be dreaming dreams or something?”

“It's late.” Garnet sent the corrupted bubble off to the bubble room and stepped off of the warp pad. “You should be in bed sleeping.”

“There's no time for that!” Steven cried, rushing towards them. “We have to go after her!”

“Who, Pearl?” Amethyst frowned. “Why? Did she like, go to do some laundry or something?” She peered down at the book in his hands. “And why are you reading about humans pushing babies out? I can think of at least a hundred more interesting things to read than _that.”_

“Amethyst, this is serious!” Steven exclaimed, panic in his eyes. “She told me not to say but, she's been acting super weird lately! And – and she – a few minutes ago, she burst out of the temple with Bismuth's bubble and warped out!”

“Woah, hold on! She did what?!”

“She took Bismuth's bubble?” Garnet led Steven over to the couch and sat it down, folding her arms uncomfortably. “Steven, you need to tell us exactly what happened.”

“I, I was in bed,” Steven began, fidgeting with his hands. “I heard her leave the temple and she was mumbling to herself, which was what woke me up. I saw she had Bismuth's bubble and I asked her what she was doing, but she started shouting that they couldn't be apart! And then she left! When she said there was something she needed to do, I didn't realise that was what she meant, I would have said something if I knew!”

Garnet held up a hand and he fell silent, clutching the book tightly.

“Steven, what was it that you promised Pearl you wouldn't tell us? I need to know so I can figure out what's happening.”

“She's been weird lately,” Steven admitted. “She's always spacing out, and I've heard her being sick in the bathroom a few times this week. I asked if she was sick but she said she was fine! And then she's reading this weird book...”

“Sounds like she's up the spout if you ask me,” muttered Amethyst. Garnet took the book from Steven and stared at it for several long moments.

“She's pregnant,” Garnet said matter-of-factly. Amethyst choked.

“Garnet, that was a joke!” she snapped.

“I'm serious. Era 1 gems have the capability to reproduce if they aren't careful, even if it's a low probability. And given what Steven has told us about her symptoms and the kind of books she's reading, it makes sense.”

“But, but clearly if she was she wouldn't be reading a book on humans!” Amethyst protested.

“There were very few Homeworld texts written on the subject of gem reproduction. She must have felt that there was nowhere else to turn for advice.” Garnet folded her arms. “Amethyst, is there any possibility you and Pearl...?”

Amethyst scoffed at the idea. “You're joking, aren't you? I like Pearl, but not enough to give her my babies, you know!”

“I'm not responsible either.” Garnet frowned and with a flick of her fingers, her visor disappeared. “She must have been with Bismuth. It's the only explanation for her erratic behaviour. I can't think of why else she would take her bubble and run.”

“Um...” Steven's voice piped up nervously, and Garnet and Amethyst turned to him. “Is... is Pearl gonna be okay? If she _is_ pregnant, I mean... will she have to, g-give up her gem, or-”

“Steven,” Garnet said softly. “These will be multiple gemlings. They will be growing their own gemstones, so there is no way Pearl will reincarnate like Rose Quartz did. This will all be resolved.”

“Oh, thank god,” breathed Amethyst, shutting her eyes. “I didn't know, okay, I was scared too!”

“It's okay, but we need to find her,” Garnet said firmly, heading towards the warp pad. “I don't know much about it either, but I do know that her gem will be behaving strangely due to the introduction of more gems in her system, and she'll be unstable and weak if we don't catch up with her soon. We'll head to the battlefield first.”

Amethyst and Steven joined her on the warp pad, and with a nervous last scan of the temple, Steven grabbed Garnet's hand and the gems warped out.

 

…

 

When Pearl arrived in the sea shrine, the water had drained only slightly. It didn't matter either way, since she didn't need air to breathe, and gems could communicate just fine regardless of the atmosphere. Besides, if Garnet wished to search for her, she knew she would never take Steven down here since the shrine would still be flooded for the next 98 years.

Water filled her lungs and she exhaled it with ease. She sat on one of the tables, in a gap where an hourglass had been disturbed. Her hands were still gripping Bismuth's bubble – any tighter and she would surely burst it. No matter, since she could barely keep herself from holding Bismuth to her as it was. She applied more pressure, chewing her lip, and the bubble burst. Immediately light flooded the shrine, and Bismuth's gem rose into the air, shimmering transcendently as her body began to reform. Pearl struggled to contain her tears, knowing she must look a sight for sore eyes with or without the water tangling her hair, and she instinctively folded her arms over her front, as if hiding the bump in her belly would prolong the inevitable.

Bismuth fell to the floor of the shrine, clutching at where Rose's sword had pierced her, and threw her head back. The moment their eyes met, her face contorted with anger.

“Why did you bring me here?” she snarled, jumping to her feet as fast as she could through the water. “I don't understand! Did Steven tell you what your precious Rose did to me?!”

“I know what she did,” choked out Pearl, reaching for Bismuth's hands. Bismuth wrenched herself away and turned, hugging her torso protectively. “Please, Bismuth. If I'd have known-”

“You're telling me she never hinted it?” Bismuth snapped. “Please! Spare me the sympathy card, Pearl! You were so infatuated by her you didn't once consider she could be the one responsible! She let you believe Homeworld was the reason I left – not her! I tried to block it out when I came out and you were so happy to see me, but she didn't even care enough to tell you, the one she told everything! Just what was I to her?!”

“I'm sorry.” Pearl ducked her head, and oh, she ached to hold Bismuth in her arms as she spoke. “I... I don't think any of us meant as much to her as we thought we did. She hid things from me, after we promised to always be honest with each other. It hurts! You didn't deserve what she did to you!”

Bismuth's shoulders slumped, and she turned around.

“Aw, no, Pearl, don't... don't cry. Don't cry for her after what she's done to us.”

“I wish I had released you as soon as he came back,” Pearl sobbed, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes, just willing herself to stop crying. “I wanted to! But Garnet said you needed time to cool off, and, and I just went along with it because I didn't want to admit to myself that Rose was wrong! But... Bismuth, I _had_ to let you out, I had to.”

Strong arms brought her into a hug, and Pearl cried as she leaned against Bismuth's chest.

“Come on now. Did, did something happen? Yeah, I'm pissed that you guys left me in there, but you're really worked up.”

Pearl tilted her chin up to rest just above Bismuth's gem, and she met Bismuth's confused, conflicted eyes. She knew there was anger there, but there also appeared to be some fondness, some worry.

“Bismuth,” she whispered. “Bismuth, I... I'm pregnant.”

Bismuth stared blankly.

“What? Pearl, what did you say?”

“I'm having your gemlings,” Pearl confessed, tearing up again. “That time in the Forge we were reckless, and now I have your gemlings inside me and I don't know what to do, Bismuth! I, I can't understand what's going on but I needed you to be here, I needed you back with me and I couldn't stand the thought of you in that bubble anymore!”

“Hey, hey.” Bismuth held her shoulders until her breathing calmed. “Calm down. You're... really carrying gemlings?”

Pearl nodded shakily.

“I didn't mean for it to happen. Stars, I didn't think a pearl and a bismuth could do this! I... I'm really sorry.”

“Don't apologise, you didn't know. And, and do you hear yourself?! A pearl and a bismuth did _what?!”_

Pearl couldn't help let out a tearful giggle, and Bismuth grinned.

“Whatever will your owner say when she finds out? What, you, you don't have one? Guess you're off the hook!”

Pearl wiped her eyes and sighed.

“Maybe I won't be shattered for this, but we're still in this mess! What are we going to do, Bismuth?”

Bismuth released her grip on Pearl.

“Well, I don't think you would lie to me about something like this but... I want to feel for myself.”

Pearl blinked, then nodded quickly.

“Um, of course! Here...”

She hesitantly reached for Bismuth's hand, before pressing it to her belly. She sat back a little, pushing out her stomach as best she could.

“I don't know if you'll be able to feel anything yet, but, the few books I managed to retrieve said within weeks I will swell. It feels like I'm already starting to.”

Bismuth's breath hitched as she felt the unmistakeable hard lumps pressing against her hand. At least four were in there, like stones, held in place by membranes.

“They're really here.” She met Pearl's anxious gaze. “We're really having gemlings.”

“I know it's a shock,” Pearl began, but she yelped as Bismuth dragged her into a limb-crushing embrace.

“Oh, Pearl,” Bismuth said fiercely, rocking her. “This is, this is incredible! Amazing! I don't even know what to say!”

“You aren't mad?” Pearl ventured. Bismuth shook her head.

“How can I be mad knowing what we made together?”

Pearl exhaled, and buried her face in Bismuth's shoulder, breathing in her strong metallic scent.

“Please stay with me,” she begged, gripping her desperately. “I need to be with you right now.”

“What about the others?” Bismuth asked, resting her chin atop Pearl's head. “Won't they notice you're gone?”

“They already know,” Pearl mumbled. “It's too late. Please don't go.”

“The Pearl I know never begged me to stay,” Bismuth teased. She sighed and nodded, tilting her chin up for a kiss. “Of course I'll stay. Nothing can keep me away.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up: some hot sweaty wall slammin sex, and another search party.  
> let me know what you think?


	3. find the feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the lovebirds get down to bismuth, connie drops by, and a red herring is created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for the sweaty wall slamming sex in the first part of this chapter. it's not like it gets super graphic but considering i don't usually put nsfw stuff on this account i thought i should warn yall

“Bismuth...”

Pearl groaned as her hips rolled against Bismuth. What had started out as hugging had turned into something more, and they were both feeling an impossible pull towards one another that could only be strengthened by the fact that they had mated back in the Forge several weeks ago. Heated kisses had turned into desperate groping, and now grinding, of all things! At any other time Pearl might be a little mortified (after all, it wasn't like she'd been regularly having sex for quite some time, and on the rare occasion it took place, it usually wasn't underwater in an old place of Diamond worship. But this was the biggest defiance of Homeworld and its twisted impact on their lives that either of them could muster in this situation, so she found she didn't find it as disrespectful as she would if it were a human place of worship).

“I've never mashed it up underwater,” Bismuth grunted between short kisses, pulling her pants down hurriedly. “Should be an interesting experience.”

“You should try it in my room some time,” Pearl breathed with a short laugh, phasing off her shorts and spreading herself for Bismuth. “The rushing water is an excellent form of stimulation.”

Bismuth barked out a laugh. “That mouth! Maybe you still have some renegade left in you,” she joked, before pulling Pearl towards her for a deeper kiss, running her hands down her back and tugging at the sash. Pearl broke away.

“Can't my shirt stay on?” she murmured. “It isn't like I have anything under there to stimulate, that was always Rose's thing.”

“How can you say for sure now that your body is changing?” Bismuth asked, a growl to her voice. “I would love to see how you're changing. Knowing that it's because of me, it's so hot.”

Pearl blushed deeply, and averted her gaze. “I... I suppose that's okay. You too, take the apron off.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Bismuth agreed with a grin. She allowed for Pearl to untie her apron as she reached over to tug the ribbon loose completely. It was a lot easier to see how Pearl's form was already changing once the ribbon was no longer taut against her stomach; there was a soft rise that just begged to be touched and kissed and admired, and it made Bismuth's gem _sing_ to know just what was inside.

She hadn't felt this alive since she had first shown Rose the Breaking Point, she realised with a bitter taste. But this was a creation equally as important – gems with rebellious energy pulsing though their gems! Two Crystal Gems as parents... what more could a gemling ask for? The thought made her want to cry.

“Bismuth?” Pearl cupped her cheek in worry, and Bismuth tore her gaze away from Pearl's abdomen to look into her eyes. “Bismuth, you're crying...”

“I'm just – I'm so happy,” Bismuth choked out, giggling and pulling Pearl closer. “It's all so confusing. I'm angry, no doubt about it, but just knowing what we've made together is making me so damn happy. Am I cracked? I feel cracked!”

“You're not cracked,” assured Pearl with a gleeful smile, though she quickly examined Bismuth's gem to be sure. “You're the same as me. It's all been such a confusing time... but right now, I really, really want you.”

“And I want you.” Bismuth nibbled on the end of her nose, earning an indignant, “Hey!” before tugging Pearl's shirt over her head. It was true, Pearl realised, that her body was changing. Not only was her bump far more obvious without the shirt covering it, but her chest was also beginning to take form, and two small nubs had unconsciously shifted outwards.

“When... when did this happen?” she muttered, gingerly pressing her fingertips against them. They were tender, and she let out a short gasp.

“Damn, now you're just teasing,” whined Bismuth, gently kneading at Pearl's new breasts with careful hands. A moan spilled out from her throat, and Pearl's face flooded blue.

“I-I don't know where that came from!” she squeaked. Bismuth grinned slyly.

“Feels good? I don't even have to touch you down there with these on my side.” She began to massage Pearl's new breasts and Pearl squirmed, hips jerking involuntarily.

“F-Fuck,” she breathed, head thrown back, and Bismuth spluttered.

“That mouth! You never lost that rebel side, huh?” she laughed. She moved a hand away from Pearl's chest and slipped it downwards, ghosting over her exposed stomach before parting swollen lips. Pearl groaned, glad the water hid how wet she was at that moment, and Bismuth began teasing her hood with expert hands.

“Don't prolong it,” Pearl pleaded. “Just do it, please. I need you.”

“Okay then,” Bismuth said in a low voice. She leaned forward to kiss Pearl, and began pumping in and out of her.

Pearl whined, shuddering and holding onto Bismuth tightly, before moaning, “Give yourself to me, all of you. I want all of you.”

“You sure?” Bismuth asked, concern written all over her face. “I... I don't want to hurt them or anything.”

“You won't,” Pearl promised, shaking with the anticipation of an incoming climax. “Please, Bismuth, please!”

Bismuth removed her fingers and sucked on them without thinking (coaxing out another embarrassed sound from Pearl's throat). “You taste so sweet this time around.”

Pearl blushed profusely, but gabbled, “Well, my body may be producing a different kind of lubrication to prevent infection to the geodes, that's all I can think of!”

“You don't need a scientific explanation for it,” Bismuth laughed, easing Pearl onto her. Pearl inhaled sharply, and then sighed when the discomfort subsided. “I think it's this bond we've made. You taste so much better with my gemlings inside you.”

“Gemlings aside,” Pearl muttered, still blushing. “Are you ready?”

“I'm ready. Do you trust me?”

Bismuth rolled her hips and Pearl whined.

“Of... of course I do.”

 

…

 

Some time after the sun had risen, the Crystal Gems returned.

“So we've thoroughly checked the battlefields,” Steven reeled off, counting his fingers, “and there was no sign of her. And she wasn't in the sky arena either. And we have no way to get to Mask Island, so chances are she won't either, right?”

“Amethyst and I will take the gem sloop out,” Garnet assured him. “Pearl doesn't like to shapeshift unless it's absolutely necessary, and it may be more difficult to due to the condition of her form at this time. We will search for her, but you need to eat and change your clothes.”

“Yeah, and aren't you tired?” Amethyst asked, prodding at the circles under his eyes. Steven chewed his lip.

“I can't sleep while she's missing, Amethyst!” he protested. “And while Bismuth might be out there plotting to kill me. I think she understood me before she poofed, but...”

“Even if Pearl did release her, I think they have more important things to be worrying about right now than Bismuth's revenge plot, dude.” Amethyst folded her arms and sighed. “Man, I can't believe she'd do this! Why didn't she come to us when she found out? It's not like we'd kick her out or anything!”

“She isn't thinking rationally right now, Amethyst,” Garnet said. She gritted her teeth. “And my future vision is still uncertain. This has been such a minute possibility her locations have never even come to mind. At this point, I can only guess her next move, and I'm guessing she'll try and go somewhere inaccessible if she isn't going to places important to her.”

“What about Peridot's escape pod?” Steven asked. “When we were searching for her that time, Pearl tracked her warping with the pod!”

“It was calibrated to her limb enhancers,” Garnet explained. “We won't be able to track Pearl with it because she isn't carrying anything that is connected to an identifying device like a pod.”

“Sides, I lost it in my room ages ago,” muttered Amethyst.

A knock at the door dragged their attention away from the situation at hand.

“Hello?” Connie peered around the edge of the door, before letting herself in. “Sorry, I could hear voices inside. Am I... intruding on something?”

“Connie,” Steven said blankly. “What're you doing here?”

She frowned. “I always have morning training on Saturdays. Have you guys been out on a mission all night?”

“Welp, training's a no go,” Amethyst drawled. “Pearl up and vanished on us, so.”

“She's gone?” Connie took a few cautious steps towards the group. “On a solo mission?”

“No,” came Garnet's flat reply. “Steven can fill you in. Come on, Amethyst, we need to get to the gem sloop.”

“Aye aye, Garnet. If she's not here though, this is just a huge waste of time.”

They nodded towards Connie before exiting the beach house, and Steven trailed over to make some cereal despite the gnawing worry in his gut making him nauseous. Connie set down the duffel bag on the couch and followed him.

“Steven? Is something wrong? Everyone's acting weirder than usual.”

Steven set down his bowl and mumbled, “Do you remember Bismuth?”

“I remember seeing her as Stevonnie. What's happening?”

“I don't really know what happened,” Steven said with a heavy sigh. He scooped up a spoonful of cereal, stared at it and then lowered it once more. “Garnet thinks Pearl is pregnant with baby gems. _Bismuth's_ baby gems.”

“THAT CAN HAPPEN?!”

Connie jumped to her feet, visibly shocked. Steven flinched.

“Er... yes? Apparently...”

She took a few deep breaths, before beginning to pace.

“How?! It's, it's just the normal way, right? It's, it's not anything to do with fusion, is it?! Can that kinda thing happen?!”

Steven frowned. “I... I don't know? I didn't get an answer on that one. But! I'm sure if that is how it happened they would have just said! I don't think it can happen for us, honest!”

Connie swallowed thickly, freezing mid-step and taking a few deep breaths. “Okay. Okay, you're probably right. It probably is just the, uh, human way. Geez. So Pearl is pregnant?”

“That's what Garnet says. She took Bismuth's bubble and disappeared, and we've been trying to find her. If she releases her, we don't know what she might do.”

“Is Bismuth a danger to anyone?” Connie asked, moving back to the table again as Steven took a few mouthfuls of bland cereal. “Would she hurt anyone if she reformed?”

Steven took his time chewing, trying to work through Connie's question. “Um... not any humans, probably. She loves the Crystal Gems, it's just me she has a problem with. Or rather, my mom.”

“I don't think she'd attack you if she's with Pearl,” Connie reasoned, resting her chin in her hands. “Because if her and Pearl are having kids now she probably just wants to take care of her, right? At least, that's what happened in Under The Knife season four, remember?”

“Yeah, Daniella wanted to go to her mom's but Earl took her to that safe house and told her he'd protect her no matter what,” Steven recalled. “Do you think Bismuth could be the one keeping Pearl away?”

“Hard to say, if Pearl really did take Bismuth's bubble first. But, I have medical knowledge about stuff! I read my mom's old university textbooks sometimes! Do the gems know anything about what Pearl's going through?”

Steven shook his head, pushing his half-eaten cereal away. “They don't really know much about what's going on. Pearl borrowed a book on human pregnancy when she took us to the library, so maybe it's similar?”

“Maybe.” Connie hopped off the bar stool and headed over to her bag. “Well, if Garnet and Amethyst are gone, we should look for Pearl too! Some place they haven't tried yet.”

“What if she comes back?” Steven worried. “What if she comes back and we're gone?”

Connie pulled out her phone.

“Let's make a very important phone call.”

She punched in a few numbers as they stepped onto the warp pad.

“Hey, Peridot. I have a mission for the Crystal Temps.”

 

…

 

“Bismuth, we have to go,” muttered Pearl, collapsing against her for a third time in the past hour. “I mean it. Garnet will know where to look soon enough, and we have to stay ahead of them or they'll take you away from me.”

“But...” Bismuth pulled away and gingerly sat Pearl in her lap. “You know we're no match for Garnet's future vision, Pearl. She could predict attacks in the rebellion that were happening days ahead of time.”

“It's not completely reliable,” Pearl confessed. “I... over summer I did a bad thing that... that screwed up Garnet's confidence in me. I misguided her future vision with alternative facts, and it ended badly when she found out. I know she must be really upset with me right now for what I've done, but I know how to stay ahead, and we need to go right now.”

“But where? The Forge? That's the first place they'll look,” Bismuth huffed. “We need to think this through, Pearl. Eventually they'll catch us.”

“Then we deal with that when the time comes,” Pearl said pleadingly, reaching for Bismuth's shoulders. “Please, we need to go. I need to be with you, I can't just let them put you back again!”

Bismuth hesitated, before nodding in resign. “Okay. Okay, if you're sure.”

She helped Pearl up to her feet, and reformed her outfit. Moments later Pearl followed suit. She grimaced in concentration, her gem glowing, before a holopearl formed a few inches away.

“It's what humans call a red herring,” Pearl informed Bismuth, who peered at the holopearl in confusion. “I don't know how well it will work, admittedly, but hopefully it will distract Garnet from our real location. Now come on, lets go.”

“This is definitely what you want?” Bismuth asked with a frown, following her over to the warp pad. “To keep running? For how long?”

Pearl sighed heavily.

“Until they understand that you're no danger to any of us. Actions speak louder than words, as they say.” She held out her hand. “Are you coming?”

Bismuth grasped her hand tightly.

“I just really hope you know what you're doing.”

Pearl huffed out a shaky laugh.

“Me? I never have. But it'll be okay if we stay together.”

“Yeah,” Bismuth forced a smile. “We'll be okay.”

 


	4. breathe in, breathe out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the crystal temps hold down the fort, bismuth and pearl stop to smell the flowers, and steven and connie get a peculiar phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, there's really no excuse for why this took so long, it just did

“We're here!”

Peridot and Lapis warped in, arms full of stray machinery parts, and Pumpkin barked happily before hopping onto the couch and curling up.

“Pumpkin, now is _not_ the time for relaxing! Pearl is in an extremely fragile _– if not ludicrously scandalous –_ condition and it is our responsibility to prepare a welcoming environment in the unlikely event of her voluntary return! Lapis, help me build a scanner! It is our duty as kindergarteners, farmers and proud parents of a pumpkin dog to care for the budding life in Pearl's abdominal cavity, and examining their vitals is paramount!”

“I don't know how to build a scanner,” Lapis said bluntly, sitting beside Pumpkin, who trotted over and rearranged herself in the soft fabric of her skirt. With a wan smile, Lapis petted Pumpkin's back, and watched on in bemusement as Peridot began sorting through parts. “Besides, won't an abundance of invasive machinery only scare her off?”

“Nonsense! If she has any sense of logic she'll accept that it is important to monitor her condition, both for her sake and the unborn gems she is intent on growing!”

“She ran off with a bubbled heretic and didn't tell anybody,” Lapis pointed out. “Does that sound logical to you at all?”

Peridot stopped sorting through components and groaned.

“You're right! Pearl isn't thinking logically at all! She went AWOL despite clearly knowing the danger she was putting herself in, and we're expected to just sit idly until she comes back! That's it, I'm building stirrups first of all! She needs to be contained if we'll have any hope of checking the vitals of these new gems!”

Lapis groaned. “This is ridiculous. She doesn't need restraining, she needs someone to talk some sense into her.”

“From what I understand, gravid gems are more difficult to reason with than even the most defective! Normally I would expect better behaviour from Pearl, but given the circumstances, a mechanism to hold her down may still be in order.” Peridot began drawing up a basic blueprint, muttering under her breath, before growling and throwing her pencil down in disgust. “I don't understand why two gems would go to such lengths! Surely the Crystal Gems aren't so desperate that they would take these drastic measures!”

“Pearl wouldn't be running for the hills if this was planned, would she, Peridot?” Lapis drawled.

“Right. Of course. I don't understand you Era 1 gems. So... full of emotions! Feelings!”

“Are you done?”

Peridot took a few deep breaths, and nodded. “Yes. Sorry, Lapis. What Steven and Connie told us on the phone has just gotten me thinking, that's all.”

“Well, don't hold back.”

“Homeworld has been facing a resources crisis for quite some time,” Peridot explained sourly. “Hence why Era 2 gems such as myself are stripped of our predecessors' abilities. They said there was no other way, but apparently, Era 1 gems used to naturally reproduce all the time! There is a perfectly stable method of producing gems but they would rather make... small, inferior gems such as myself! It doesn't make any sense!”

She fell silent, glaring down at the beginnings of her blueprints, and Lapis regarded her wordlessly while Pumpkin panted and yipped, oblivious to the atmosphere.

“Era 1 reproduction wasn't without its flaws,” Lapis said slowly. “The outcomes are unique every time, and the time it takes to produce only a small number of gems... from a diamond's viewpoint, it makes no logical sense to use such a time-consuming method when they found other ways around it.” She paused. “And it doesn't make you inferior. It makes you you. Era 1 peridots were always so boring to listen to, anyway.”

Peridot ducked her head, but managed a wry smile.

“Thanks, Lazuli.”

 

…

 

The moment they exited the warp stream, Bismuth found herself instantly hit by the smell of fresh Earth flora, and she inhaled sharply. It wasn't the sweet, fruity scent of the battlefields, but rather a strong, waxy perfume.

“Aren't these flower fields lovely?” Pearl sighed, curling her arms around Bismuth's. “I've only been here a few times, but they always fill me with peace.”

“We could use a bit of peace, now, couldn't we?” Bismuth joked with a crooked smile, and Pearl smiled at her.

“Maybe... maybe we could just stay here. Steven never visits because of his allergies, and Garnet and Amethyst have no reason to come by. We could live in these fields and, and be free, and raise these new gemlings under a sky of clouds and sunshine! Wouldn't that just be wonderful?”

“It would,” Bismuth agreed, her smile fading. “But we need to be more realistic than this, Pearl. Look me in the eye and tell me that you think Garnet won't be able to track us if we stay in the same spot long enough.”

Pearl remained firmly staring straight ahead of her.

“That's what I thought. So how long will we keep running?”

“Like I said. Until they know you're not a threat.” She took a few steps forward, reaching out to caress a flower. “I... I can't stand the thought of them taking you away and bubbling you again. You deserve more than that! You deserve your freedom. I already took it away from you once, I would hate to do that again.”

She began to weave in and out of the flowers, and Bismuth trailed behind her.

“I know I have every right to be angry with all of you, but I don't see the point in constantly retreating. Your condition will only drain your energy over time, and eventually they'll catch up to us.”

“So what do you propose?” Pearl asked distantly. “Bring the fight to them? If I thought we could all sit down and have a civil discussion about this, don't you think I would have suggested that first? They're mad that I released you without consulting them, they're probably mad that I'm carrying your gemlings and they're definitely mad that we're avoiding them. No matter how I look at it, I don't see a happy ending.”

“I still don't think running from your problems is the way to solve things, Pearl!” Bismuth argued. She stood in front of her, blocking her path, and carefully lifted her foot to free a flower that had become trapped. “What we need is a way to communicate, without starting a fight. If there are any wailing stones nearby, for example-”

“Impossible,” Pearl sighed. She wobbled on her feet for a moment, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was starting to feel sick again, but she soldiered through the wave of nausea. “We gathered up all of the wailing stones on Earth. They're all back in the temple, and I don't suppose you want to be there right now any more than I do.”

“That's where you were keeping my bubble, right?” Bismuth asked. She lowered her gaze. “Yeah, I don't want to be harvested any time soon.”

“We would never harvest you!” Pearl argued. Her stomach turned, and shut her eyes, holding onto Bismuth's arm for support. “We don't – urp, we don't put gems in the temple to harvest them, we – we, we keep them safe...”

“You're looking... really pale, even for you,” Bismuth began, and Pearl bent forward, spitting into the grass below. “Woah, are you okay?!”

Urgh, don't worry about me,” muttered Pearl, between heaving breaths. “This seems to happen from time to time, it seems to be a side effect of carrying. A... a way of building up antibodies, perhaps? I don't entirely understand, and the artefacts I found weren't very helpful at all.”

“You're sure this is normal?” Bismuth asked with a furrowed brow, reaching over to rub her back. Her whole hand just about encompassed it.

“Yes, yes. It's fine, I'm fine.” Pearl steadied her breathing and then straightened out. “I don't eat, so it makes the nausea easier to manage.”

“Shit, if you say so.” Bismuth hoisted Pearl up over her shoulder, and Pearl squawked in surprise.

“Bismuth, what-?!”

“You were wobbly on your feet before. Just, let me carry you around for a bit. At least until the dizziness subsides.”

Pearl was willing to process, but oh, it did feel good to be held in Bismuth's strong arms again. They felt like such a perfect fit, like leather and lace, and whether it was pull of her maternal instincts or something else, she found she never wanted to leave Bismuth's side again.

“I wonder if this is how Ruby and Sapphire feel,” she mumbled, resting against Bismuth.

“How do you mean?”

“They love each other, don't they? They never want to be apart. They feel incomplete without each other.”

Bismuth knew that feeling. Her gem was warm as she held Pearl in her arms. She felt overwhelmingly drawn to her, filled with the urge to protect, defend, nurture. Of course she'd held a very diluted feeling of affection towards Pearl during the rebellion, when she was both aroused and terrified for her, but compared to how she felt now... well, there was no comparison. She'd never felt anything like this before.

“I don't want to lose myself in a fusion with you, Pearl,” Bismuth said steadily. “As much as I love Angel Aura, and want her to kick ass as much as the next gem... I want to be able to hold you like this without losing myself in the process. I still want to be me when I love you.”

Pearl nodded, eyes feeling hot with tears. “You're right. I... I used fusion to feel validated, and all it did was cause hurt and mistrust. I'm finally starting to like myself, and I don't want to throw that away.”

Bismuth pressed a kiss to her gem. “Glad we're on the same page for one, Renegade.”

With a giggle, Pearl pushed her face away lightly. “I know we can't stay here forever, but... just for a little while...”

Bismuth sat down in the grass, and cuddled Pearl close to her, running her fingers through downy peach-coloured hair. “We can take a moment to relax. Stars knows you need it right now.”

 

…

 

“So this is where you first saw Opal?” Connie gazed around her. A few months ago her jaw would have hit the floor at the sight of the Sky Spire, but now, while the sight was still breathtaking, she could at least be prepared for the stunning atmosphere of gem-made locations. “It's really beautiful.”

“Yeah. I don't know if she'll be here, since Steven Jr chewed her hand up the last time we came here,” Steven recalled, surveying his surroundings. “But if there's one thing I know about Pearl, it's that when she's upset about something, she likes going to high places that are impossible to reach. When I followed her into the battlefields she jumped onto a cliff edge that was really difficult to get to, and that time we fought against her during your training she sat right on the edge of the Sky Arena.”

“I see! A pattern. You think we should be looking at high, hard to reach places rather than checking out places like the flower fields first.” Connie held up her phone to the highest point, and fiddled with the screen. “I'm zooming... but I still don't see anything.”

“Well, she would blend with the surroundings here, the rocks are the same colour as her gem,” Steven offered with a sheepish grin. “But! Now I have floating powers, we can check without having to climb all of those stairs!”

He held out his hand, and Connie laced her fingers through his. Together they did a running leap, pushing upwards from the edge of the cliff and hurtling upwards.

“Can you see her?” Steven called. Connie squinted, as they made their slow descent onto one of the many on the path of levitating boulders.

“No... Maybe we should go higher?”

With another bound, they hoisted themselves further into the sky, suspended just above the clearing where the heaven beetle's temple rested.

“It doesn't look like she's here,” Connie said dejectedly.

“Pearl?!” called Steven, cupping his free hand around his mouth to project his voice. “Pearl, are you in there? It's Steven, and Connie too! We just want to know if you're okay!”

Silence.

“Please, why aren't you answering?! We're not mad about you taking Bismuth's bubble, we just want you to come home!”

“Steven, I don't think she's here,” Connie said gently, squeezing his hand. “Come on, lets try somewhere else.”

“I'm just worried about her, Connie.” Steven sighed, and they lowered to the ground. “After the situation with Sardonyx, and her and my dad making up... it felt like things were going in the right direction. Like she was happy, but now...”

“Well, she was happy to see Bismuth right?” Connie offered. She blushed a little. “Happy enough for all of _this_ to happen. Maybe when this situation has calmed down, you and the gems can talk about things, and you'll know if she's happy.”

“But we can't talk if we don't know where she is,” Steven despaired. He began to pace. “Garnet said she would be fragile right now, what if something bad has happened? Like, what if she cracked her gem, or her and Bismuth are fighting, or she's having the baby gems right now?!”

“I'm sure they aren't ready to be born just yet,” Connie said quickly, reaching out to hold his arm. “Humans take nine whole months to grow, after all! For all we know, they could be reunited with Garnet and Amethyst already!”

“Maybe... they don't have a phone, I already returned it to Kofi, so even if they _did_ find her-”

At that moment, the opening bars of an 8-bit edition of Under The Knife's main theme rang out from Connie's back pocket, and she reached for her phone.

“It's Peridot,” she announced.

“Put it on speaker!”

“Connie! Steven!” Peridot's voice bleated, distorted from the close range yelling. “I demand that you both return to the temple immediately!”

“Peridot, what's going on?” Connie asked, brow furrowed as she glanced between Steven and her phone screen in confusion. “Did Pearl come back?”

“No! But there's some kind of loud communicator inside the temple, and it's demanding to speak to you, Steven!”

“Communicator?” echoed Connie. She stared at Steven. “Do you know what she's talking about?”

“No... Peridot, do you recognise the voice? Is it my dad, or one of the gems?”

“It's some kind of disembodied voice!” Peridot announced, and Steven could tell that she was gesturing wildly. “Just listen!”

He strained his ears, and faintly he could hear a voice, in between static and Peridot's intense breathing.

“ _Let me speak to Steven! I know he's out there! I know he can help!”_

His eyes widened in recognition.

“Wait a minute. Is that... Bismuth?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DRAMA  
> sooo, that's probably the nicest version of lapis I've ever written. She's one of my least favourite characters but unfortunately there's no Crystal Temps without lapis lazuli so whatevs  
> i've had the upcoming bispearl scene written up from the start, so fingers crossed that this next chapter comes a little faster than this one did!!


	5. we could have learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pearl and bismuth keep on running, fight a gem monster, and learn there are consequences to their actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spontaneous update!  
> it's been a while, huh! nothing like deadlines to make me inspired to NOT do deadlines and instead focus on writing some good old egg hell. this chapter contains the first scene i ever wrote for this fic, and the rest of it is something i cooked up in the last hour or so. what can i say, time gets away from me.

Pearl's eyes flickered open.

The sun had just been rising when they arrived in the flower fields, and now it was high in the sky. They had dozed off without even realising.

As she sat up sharply, she spied Bismuth lying beside her, propped up on one arm and smiling at her.

“You look so peaceful when you're sleeping, but your dreams don't lie,” she said with a grin. “You're still a little renegade at heart. Who was the green one you were punching?”

“O-Oh, that was Peridot,” Pearl muttered with a slight blush. “It was a while ago now, just an... empowering memory. But, Bismuth, it's late! How long was I asleep for?!”

“Just a couple hours,” Bismuth said with a shrug. She sat up straight too. “Why are you so worried?”

“They could be close by, Bismuth!” Pearl fretted. “We need to move!”

She stood, and a wave of dizziness washed over her gem, causing her to stumble. She felt overly warm and out of sorts, her gem uncomfortably hot.

Bismuth reached an arm out to steady her, and frowned.

“Your condition is getting worse, Pearl. Don't you think it's time to go back?”

“Not yet,” Pearl ground out. She cringed at the sharpness of her voice. “Bismuth, I'm sorry, I-I just... I want to go somewhere else.”

“Like where?”

Pearl headed towards the warp pad, palms clammy, praying Bismuth would follow. It was hurting to walk away, far more than it normally would, and she supposed it was the pull between dame and sire that was making it so difficult not to turn right around and jump into Bismuth's arms. Sure enough, though, she heard the heavy footsteps of Bismuth behind her, and felt her body unclench in relief.

Her nerves were fraying, fearing that any moment Garnet and Amethyst would warp in and... and what? What would they do? They would have something to say about Pearl's vanishing act, that was for sure, and they may be hostile towards Bismuth, but...

The paranoia in the back of her gem made her skin crawl.

_They hate you now. They'll fight you, they'll crack your gemlings, they'll rip Bismuth away from you and force her into a bubble, or shatter her, or exile her to a different star system while you remain trapped, destined to always be apart, destined to always be alone-_

Bismuth's hand clasped hers, and she jolted in fear, warping them immediately.

With a flash of light, they found themselves in the ice caverns, cold and eerily quiet.

“What are we doing here, Pearl?” Bismuth asked tiredly. Pearl's laugh came out a little too forced, too quiet, too high-pitched.

“Well, uh, I thought you would feel at home here,” she said, shoulders quivering ever so slightly. “Since after all, this is the place Snowflake would spend all of her time. She always did feel more at home with the ice...”

“Snowflake is gone,” ground out Bismuth. “And Crazy Lace, and Biggs. You already told me.”

Pearl sighed and shakily lowered herself down to sit on a rock. She pushed her bangs aside, her gem feeling all too hot and crowded suddenly. “I know. I, I'm sorry, Bismuth, I just... I need to think of places they won't check. P-Places they know I wouldn't go.”

“Pearl, you're in bad shape. You're, you're carrying a clutch of who knows how many and we're running, and the stress of it all doesn't seem to be doing you any favours. We need to take you back to Garnet.”

“No!” cried Pearl. “We can't go back to them, I was never supposed to unbubble you! I went against Garnet's instructions!”

“So?” Bismuth countered, teeth bared in a grimace. “I don't remember Garnet being the one to co-sign the manifesto when the rebellion was ready to take off! _You_ are the co-leader of the Crystal Gems – you and _Rose._ ” Just the name of their beloved leader brought a sour taste to Bismuth's mouth, but she swallowed back her anger for the sake of the gem dithering before her. Pearl barked out a weak laugh.

“Me? Really? I'm weak, and I know it. I know that you know how me and Rose were, during the rebellion and for a long time afterwards. When she gave up her physical form, it ruined me. I didn't know how I would go on, and if not for Garnet, I'm fairly sure I would have thrown myself from the Sky Arena and broken myself a long time ago.” There was no hint of sarcasm in her voice, and yet none of the horror that Bismuth felt upon hearing those words. There was a cold, dull acceptance of it all.

“Don't you dare say that,” Bismuth said fiercely. She gripped Pearl's small shoulders in her own. It didn't matter how hard, for she could never hurt Pearl; for all their differences in form and strength, their gem hardness really wasn't so different after all. The lower Mohs always stuck together, even in the rebellion. It was what she had liked about her in the first place. “Don't give us softies a bad rep, you hear me? How can the renegade... how can _you_ talk about yourself like that?!”

“I gave up being the renegade,” Pearl snapped, voice rising in hysteria, “the moment I saw a battlefield of thousands corrupt before my eyes! Look around, Bismuth! I'm nothing, the rebellion is nothing now that we're wasting away! The first time in all these years that I saw you... it was the first time in a long time that I felt like we stood a chance against Homeworld.”

“We do,” Bismuth said, holding her, grounding her. “We still do, Pearl.”

Pearl shook her head, hysterical laughter bubbling up in her throat. “What if they want to bubble you again? You're my friend – you're much more than that! I'm carrying your clutch inside me! How can they take you away from me?!”

“I'm not afraid of them, Pearl,” Bismuth said steadily, cupping her cheeks. “Listen to me. I'm angry, and I know I'm not wrong. But Steven, he talked to me. He was more honest with me in those last few seconds than Rose was in millennia! I was so caught up in it all, of course he misunderstood my intentions. If I can just talk to them...”

“I'm scared,” Pearl admitted, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt tears well up. _Fool, you fool, don't cry._ “I don't understand what's happening to me, but nothing is making sense anymore. My feelings are just, they're all over the place, and you – I just want to be around you. It's – it's not _fair.”_

How childish, resulting to such a pitiful argument. If she could only stop making this about her for two seconds... it was about far more than her instinct-driven gem, it was about something so fundamental to both of them that it hurt. For so long Bismuth had been a prisoner to Rose, the gem Pearl had loved and cared for more than anything or anyone in all the star systems. Her freedom – something Pearl had fought so hard to earn herself – had been ripped away just to prevent Rose's precious secret from spilling out.

“You deserved a life after the war too,” choked out Pearl, gripping onto Bismuth as her world pitched. “You – you fought so hard, you did so much for us! If I had just thought to _ask-!”_

“Stop it,” Bismuth said sharply, “Stop it, Pearl. Your gem is burning up, no doubt all this sneaking around is worsening your condition. You need to calm down.”

She hastily scooped up a handful of ice and gingerly pressed it to Pearl's gem. The hissing as rapidly melting ice made contact with her gem was deafening, and the shock caused her to jerk so violently that if not for Bismuth still supporting her back she would have slipped.

“Easy,” soothed Bismuth, gently rocking her as she writhed. The numbing pain soon eased, along with the hot aching of her gem, and as water ran down her face and brushed her lips, she realised just how clammy and weak she felt. She licked at the water and whimpered, “I need fluids.”

A moment passed, before slightly runny ice was being slowly tipped past her lips. She could hear Bismuth muttering to herself, no doubt coming up with a plan of action, and gradually she came back to herself.

“Listen, Pearl, I don't know how to take care of you,” Bismuth said in a strained voice. “This is something new to me, and, and I really think you'll be better off in Garnet's care. I'm sorry. If she poofs me again that's something we'll have to work out, but I'm worried about you.”

“You _can_ take care of me,” Pearl insisted, clinging to her desperately. “You're their sire, you have to stay!”

“I want to, I do,” promised Bismuth, helping her sit upright again. “But Pearl, there are little gems in you, our offspring, and you need to consider how the stress we're under could be affecting them! Even if Garnet is mad, she will look after you. She'll make sure our gemlings are given the best care, even if I can't be with you. But you _need_ to let me go.”

A low grumble erupted from behind them, and Bismuth stared over Pearl's shoulder. A creature made of ice, with a gem embedded in its forehead, staggered towards them, eyes narrowed.

“P-Pearl, what is that?!” Bismuth demanded. Instinctively Pearl leapt to her feet, wobbling a little at the sudden movement. She grasped at Bismuth's arm for support and pulled out a spear from her gem, unable to suppress the groan of pain as she did so. It was becoming more painful by the day to summon her spears, and she knew it would only get worse from here on.

“It's a corrupted gem,” she ground out. “The diamonds ruined the gems on Earth, turned them into broken pieces of their former selves. We... we poof and bubble them. To keep them safe, and the Earth safe.”

“This was really a gem?” Bismuth stared in dismay as the creature howled and began to lumber towards them.

Pearl's spear began to shoot out bright lasers, but the corrupted beat dodged them, letting out another hiss as it readied itself for a body slam. She threw the spear and it lodged in the creature's arm, causing it to stop in its tracks with a scream that sounded static, wrong in her mind. She wavered, once more clinging to Bismuth while the dizziness passed. Weakly, she drew out another spear, gasping out with the intensity of her discomfort.

The creature, having destroyed the spear and recovered from the shock of its injury, lunged at the two once more. Bismuth leapt forward, swinging a punch that it swiftly dodged, and she fell into the ice, the sharp cold jerking her into motion. The ice monster butted into Pearl forcefully, and she yelped in pain as its gem dug into her torso. It felt wrong, grating against the geodes in her, the contact causing both her and the corrupted gem a pulsing pain. Somewhere in the struggle, she had dropped her spear.

“Get off,” she grunted, pushing against it with all her might. The back of her head slammed against the ice cavern wall, and her vision failed for a moment before she felt the gem on top of her, grunting, growling, miserable energy. Pearl reached up to grab another spear, but the sheer pain of the notion made her retract her hand quickly. She had been in many distressing situations over the years, had been subjected to various torturous injuries during the war, but the pain from her geodes coupled with the aching of her gem was almost too much to bear.

Then, as she fumbled around for the mustered energy to fight back, the creature let out a shrill cry and froze in its tracks. She spied the spear protruding from its chest and leaned back with a shaky sigh as it poofed, Bismuth reaching to catch the gem. Pearl's spear dissipated in Bismuth's hand and she knelt down beside her, looking close to tears.

“Are you all right?!” she fussed, checking Pearl's gem over. “You're still burning up, fuck, I had no idea how fast it would be! Tell me where it hurts!”

“My gem is – it's aching, I can't focus,” Pearl gasped, finding it slightly easier to gather her thoughts with her eyes closed. She palmed her abdomen fearfully, searching for any cracks or dents. “It slammed right into me, Bismuth, it hurts where the geodes are!”

“All right, okay, fuck,” Bismuth gabbled, scooping Pearl up in her arms and hurrying towards the warp pad. “We, we need someone. Fuck, I can't make it back to the temple on my own! I need a wailing stone, Pearl, where can I find one?!”

Pearl moaned weakly. She could see it in her mind, knew she could probably make it back to the temple, but her mind seized up with the fear of seeing Garnet and Amethyst in such a bad state, and her gem throbbed painfully once more.

“The north,” she finally ground out. She gripped onto Bismuth's arm. “The north, there's a wailing stone n-next to the warp pad, st-stars, this hurts.”

Bismuth knew now. Of course, how could she be so foolish? Of all the wailing stones to still be standing, it happened to be the one that her team of bismuths had installed all those years ago.

“It better still be working,” she muttered to herself. They arrived in the Great North just moments later, and she fell beside the wailing stone desperately, cradling Pearl in her arms. The miserable state she was in only further wore down on Bismuth's nerves, and it took her three times to activate the wailing stone. This one, far bigger than the others, would surely reach every wailing stone on Earth – including those in the Crystal Gems' main base.

“Garnet! Amethyst, Steven! It's Bismuth! Please, I need your help!”

The message was going through, but there was no reply. Pearl was beginning to whimper and writhe in her arms, squirming in pain and clutching fervently at her aching gem and the discomfort in her belly. Bismuth's gem surged with panic, and she tried again.

“Someone, anyone! Please, send someone over to the great north, it's urgent!”

Her eyes filled with tears, and she tried one last time, shaking all over.

“Please! Let me speak to Steven! I know he's out there! I know he can help!”

Nothing. She tried to steady her breathing, but she was freaking out and she knew it. Pearl was so close to her, huddled as she tried to manage her pain, and it was breaking her heart.

“Where the hell is Garnet?” she whispered to herself. “Some lousy future vision if she still hasn't tracked us down!”

She rocked Pearl, holding her close, and shielded her as best she could against the elements. It was beginning to snow, and while the cold would be good to cool down Pearl's gem, exposure to the harsh elements on Earth may not be so good for developing geodes, especially after the attack from the corrupted gem.

Bismuth's eyes filled with tears. Stars, what the fuck had the diamonds done?! Turning all gemkind into horrific mutations of their former selves... had Bismuth known that gem? Had she been an ally, or an enemy? There was still so much she didn't know. Stars, she felt so fucking _useless._

She curled up around Pearl, eyes shut, snow beginning to pile up around them, when suddenly the static noise of someone tampering with a wailing stone jolted her back to her senses.

When she heard the voice on the other end, she damn near burst into tears.

“Bismuth, it's Steven! I'm here! Tell me exactly what you need!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the scene where they first arrive in the ice cavern and pearls fever strikes is the first scene i wrote. i posted it on my tumblr back in the day haha. well, this whole chapter has read a bit like a crying melodrama so sorry about that, but both pearl and bismuth's emotions are running high thanks to their dame/sire bond and its getting to the point where its really beginning to hurt them. hopefully things will cool down very soon.  
> thanks so much to everyone who has been tuning into this thing so far, it means a lot to me! we're coming up to the end, probably another 2 chapters at most, so thank you for reading! and drop a comment if you liked it or wanted to discuss bispearl/bispearl egg hell with me, i'd be happy to!


	6. what you were looking for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lapis leaves (again), amethyst gets confrontational, and steven and connie fight a gem monster. (also, there's a reunion.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhh its finally here!!! and it only took like 7 months lol!!! i hate myself  
> no but deadlines kicked my ass, i'm sorry. and when i eventually recovered from the stress of them, it took a couple weeks to get this chapter together. i really hope it doesn't disappoint but its coming up to 4am and i want to get some sleep

Peridot watched on as Steven heaved the wailing stone out of the temple. Her metal powers were helping, but not all that much. It was better to let a quartz get on with things if they had no qualms, she'd decided.

“Bismuth, it's Steven,” Steven grunted, setting the smallest wailing stone just outside the temple door. There had been an entire mountain of them in Amethyst's room, stacked up high enough to reach the ceiling, all impossibly loud. It had taken all of his strength just to pick up the smallest one he could find.

He set it down with a thud and wiped his brow, leaning against it for support.

“I'm here! Tell me exactly what you need!”

He heard the sound of a relieved sob, and Bismuth spoke again.

“We need to get back to your base, but... but I'm so lost.”

“Lost?” Steven quirked a brow. The gems always seemed to be able to travel through the warp stream with ease. Then again, Bismuth had only been to his house that one day, and only warped back there once. It had taken him a while to remember how to get to places too, if he couldn't visualise them properly.

“I can't remember enough,” she explained, through heaving sobs. “I need help getting back, and Pearl needs someone to examine her.”

“Pearl's still with you?” Relief flooded through him. “Okay. Bismuth, I'm gonna get to you and bring you both home. Where are you?”

“The Great North. By the warp pad.”

He looked around at the room. Peridot was examining the ancient wailing stone, fascinated by Homeworld's more analogue technology, Connie was staring between Steven and the warp pad with a mixture of determination and worry, and Lapis was hunched over in the corner, fists clenched.

“I'm going to bring them back,” Steven declared. Connie grabbed her coat and joined him on the warp pad, clutching the strap to her training bag.

“I'll go with you. If there are corrupted gems around like last time, they're gonna need some back up!”

Steven grinned at her, and then diverted his attention to Lapis and Peridot.

“We'll bring them back. Will you guys be okay until then?”

“We'll be fine,” Lapis said tightly.

With an uncertain glance, Steven and Connie warped out, leaving the two of them alone.

“This is a disaster!” Peridot announced, waving her arms around. “We've barely made a start on this contraption, and Pearl will be back any minute! Lapis, quickly! Pass me the leverage optimizer!”

A few moments passed, and Peridot frowned.

“Lapis, did you hear me? Leverage optimizer.”

More silence.

“Fine, I'll get it myself!” With some concentration, the screwdriver drifted into her hand, and she turned to address Lapis. She was hunched up into a ball in the chair, frowning at some spot up ahead. “Hey, what's the matter? You aren't even pretending to be bored.”

“It's that bismuth,” Lapis muttered. “I... when I was caught up in the gem war, a bismuth dissipated me. I've never met this one, but what if she's the _same_ bismuth? How can I be in the same room with the gem who's responsible for what happened to me?”

“The chances of that are highly unlikely, Lapis,” Peridot remarked, turning back to fix in a screw. “After all, I'm sure there was more than one bismuth defecting in the gem war. Bismuths are hardly treated _well_ on Homeworld, after all.”

“Yes, but...” Lapis made a noise in the back of her throat, her eyes prickling. “Peridot, what'll I do if she _is_ the same one? Should I run? Should I demand some sort of apology? It's not like she'll remember anyway, but it... it matters a lot to me.”

Peridot stopped, her back still to Lapis.

“You... you need to do what you need to do, Lapis,” she said slowly. “It's... uh, what was the word Steven used... closure? Yes. Closure. To, er. To help you move on.”

“It's not that easy,” Lapis said darkly, giving a humourless laugh. “Peridot, it's not as simple as that.”

“I'm not _saying_ it's simple.” Peridot craned her neck to look at her, mouth pursed in a frown. “I'm saying it's what you need to do. Even if it doesn't help _everything,_ it's better than nothing.”

Lapis stood up abruptly, going to the door.

“I don't want to be here when she gets back, Peridot,” Lapis said quietly, yanking the door open. “I'm going back to the barn.”

“But! Who will help me build this holding device for Pearl?!” Peridot called after her, as Lapis's wings unfurled, smattering Peridot's face with droplets of water. “Lapis!”

“I'm not... I'm not getting in the way of however Pearl and that bismuth need to be treated,” Lapis said bluntly, turning back to face Peridot one last time. “If I'm here when they get back... I don't know what I'll do, what I'll say. It's better for everyone if I go.”

As Peridot opened her mouth to protest Lapis launched into the sky.

 

…

 

“She's not here, Garnet,” Amethyst groaned, shaking sand out of her mane of hair.

The journey to mask island hadn't taken long in the sloop (Amethyst was seriously going to thank Pearl for installing those engines – after she kicked her butt for sending them on this chase in the first place, that is), but once they had got there they had first been ambushed by a tribe of watermelon stevens, still on edge from the last time the gems had been on the island, and then there had been a corrupted squid monster to deal with that had been polluting the surrounding waters.

To cut a long story short, Amethyst was exhausted.

“We need to keep looking,” Garnet said resolutely. She was tense, Amethyst could tell. Her voice was tight, her fists kept clenching and unclenching, and her movements were more rigid than usual. This was really getting to her.

“Suppose we do find her hiding out in one of the geode caves here, making sweet love to Bismuth,” Amethyst drawled, huffing when Garnet didn't so much as crack a smile at her crudeness. “What then, G? She clearly doesn't wanna come home with us, and I don't feel like fighting Bismuth for her hand, or whatever. It was tough enough when we were _friendly_ with her.”

“Bismuth is our friend,” Garnet said tightly. “We don't need to fight.”

“You don't sound convinced.”

“I don't know much about gravid gems, Amethyst,” Garnet admitted, her shoulders slumping slightly. “But I know that they have a _bond_ between them. It's like an instinct, and it's powerful. Bismuth will want to protect Pearl no matter what. And Pearl... she wants to protect Bismuth too.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Amethyst muttered. “After what Rose did, we left her in that bubble.”

“We are not having this conversation.”

“Well, we did, G!” Amethyst kicked a stone over, revealing purple and blue crystals on the underside of it. “We gotta face up to that. Shit, I mean... they love each other, Garnet, or they did when they were makin' bacon. And then we put Bismuth back in that bubble, back in the burning room. No wonder P's upset with us.”

“I said we're not discussing this, Amethyst,” Garnet repeated, stony-faced.

“Uh, we kinda have to if there are baby gems in the mix, Garnet,” Amethyst pointed out. She tugged on clumps of her hair, growling in frustration. “I _know_ you don't wanna talk about it, but this is a big deal, okay? If Pierogi is gonna have babies-”

“We don't know that yet.”

“Kay, well, even if P _isn't_ gonna have the babies... we can't just pretend this didn't happen! We need to talk about Bismuth, we need to talk about _Pearl_ and Bismuth, and we need to talk about Pearl and Bismuth _running off_ into the sunset, leading us on this wild chase around the planet, and-”

“Steven is going to find Bismuth,” Garnet said suddenly, stopping in her tracks. Amethyst nearly barrelled into her.

“He is?!” As soon as things were fine and good, Amethyst was definitely going to get that kid some sort of trophy. Or maybe a bear claw. Yeah, that'd be good.

“And she's with Pearl.”

“Neat!” Amethyst flopped on the ground with a sigh. “Now we can stop worrying about her. Why'd she send us on this chase, huh? I've heard of humans doing something with a shotgun when they have babies, but it's not like gems have a use for anything like that.”

“She panicked.” Garnet hoisted Amethyst upright and began marching towards the gem sloop. “We'll need to get to the nearest warp pad, Pearl will be in a bad state when Steven brings them both back.”

“What, she's got a bellyache or something and she's making a fuss over it?” Amethyst complained as Garnet set them down in the sloop and opened up the sails. “That's what making babies'll do to ya, P.”

“This is serious, Amethyst,” Garnet said, in a tone that made Amethyst shut up immediately. She huffed, looking away, and Garnet unfastened the knot keeping them docked. “Now let's set a course for home. They'll soon need us there.”

“Just another two hour voyage across the ocean,” grumbled Amethyst. “Gee, I can't wait. Wanna play I spy or something to pass the time?”

 

…

 

Steven and Connie arrived at the Great North in the midst of a snowstorm, and they both took a few moments for their eyes to adjust, first to the icy wind and powder snow hurtling at their faces, and then to the blinding brightness of the north itself. All around them was white, and Steven reached to clutch Connie's hand. The last thing he wanted was to be separated from her when he could barely see anything as it was.

“Steven, can you see them?” Connie yelled over the howling wind, gripping into him tightly. Steven squinted.

“All I can see is snow!” he despaired. “How are we supposed to find them now?!”

“They can't be far from the warp pad!” Connie insisted, shouting close to his ear to be heard above the wailing din of the storm. “They were by the wailing stone, right?”

Steven reached out blindly, feeling around in front of him. He was sure the wailing stone was directly behind the warp pad, so surely if he kept reaching out...

His hand met with something wet, his fingers tangling in it, and he withdrew with a shudder. A moment later, he felt warm, moist breath against his face, and a distorted roar almost knocked him off his feet.

“G-G-Gem monster!” he stuttered, tugging Connie away from where he'd come into contact with the corrupted gem. Connie tripped over the edge of the warp pad and fell face down into the snow, momentarily winded. Steven encased a bubble around them, and large flakes began to stick to the outer walls, casting strange shadows over the both of them. He knelt down beside Connie. “Are you okay?!”

“Fine,” she grunted, pushing herself onto her knees. “Steven, how are we gonna fight that thing if we can't even see what we're doing?!”

“I-I don't know!” Steven gripped handfuls of his hair, wracking his brain for ideas. “Okay, um... if we find where Bismuth and Pearl are, they might be able to help. But we don't know where they are!”

Connie began to rummage in her training duffel, and let out a horrified gasp as the corrupted gem creature emerged from the heavy fog of the storm, bringing its clawed front legs down on the bubble. With a shriek of his own, Steven brought out the spiked layer of the bubble, sending the monster recoiling with a howl. It was a startling white, with a colourless gemstone embedded in its forehead.

“A quartz,” Steven muttered to himself, squinting to take in as many details of the creature as he could before it struck again.

“Aha!” Connie fished out her ski goggles and quickly put them on, pulling up her hood and tightening it. She reached for the sword and unsheathed it with grim determination. “Okay, Steven. I'm ready. Let's lower the shield.”

“B-But we don't have a plan!”

“I'll take on the monster. O-Or distract it, anyway! You try and find Bismuth and Pearl. As soon as we have them on the warp pad, we can get outta here, whether or not we poof this big guy here.”

“Be safe!” Steven pleaded, readying a shield at his side. Connie offered him a sheepish grin, ducking her head slightly.

“Steven, I'm a Mahaeswaran. I'm all about safety.”

With a gulp, Steven lowered the shield, and Connie launched herself at the quartz with a cry, and the quartz gave a screech of its own, throwing its head back with a snarl and bringing its front legs down in a stomp. Connie skidded to a halt, narrowly avoiding behind trampled, and turned on her heels, leading it to the north-west of the warp pad. As the creature chased after her, oblivious to Steven's presence, he brought up his shield and squinted. Vaguely he could make out a slate grey shape – _please be the wailing stone,_ he prayed silently – and began to trudge towards it, fighting the power of the forceful winds as best he could.

“Just a little further...” he ground out. He reached out and felt the shape in front of him, feeling the rough surface similar to the wailing stones back in the temple. His hand ventured further up, and he found the signature golden ring of a Homeworld communicator. With a sigh of relief, he gripped onto it for support against the strong gales, and took a few hesitant steps forward. As he stepped off the warp pad, his foot tripped up against something hard and he stumbled, landing on his shield, which dissipated on impact with the ground. He groaned at the sharp burning of the ice against his skin, and quickly pushed himself upright to see what he had fallen against. He scooped up some of the snow covering the object, and as he threw it carelessly aside, he stopped.

A purple boot.

His heart seized up in excitement, quickly replaced by alarm, and he hurriedly began to brush the thick layer of snow off of Bismuth's body.

“Bismuth! Bismuth, it's Steven!”

Bismuth's eyes snapped open and she jolted up suddenly, letting out a sharp gasp. Her eyes darted around, before landing on him. Her pupils were wild and dilated, and she let out a few heaving breaths. As she sat up properly, Steven saw she was cradling something close to her body.

Pearl.

“Pearl!” Steven cried, scooting forward. Frost was gathering all over her skin, and powder snow dusted her hair. Her gem was pulsing dimly, and Bismuth's skin had scorch marks from where it had been in contact with her body.

“Steven,” Bismuth breathed. “Oh, thank the stars, w-we don't have much time!”

“What's happening to her?!” Steven began to wipe away the thin layer of frost on her skin, terror gripping him at just how cold it was.

“She's having a heat flux,” Bismuth explained, holding her close. “She was b-burning up, and we got attacked by a corrupted gem and she, she said the geodes were hurting her and now she's – she's so _cold,_ Steven, she's freezing, we have to _do_ something!”

At that moment, Connie screamed, and Steven wrenched his gaze away.

“Bismuth, Connie needs back up! She's fighting a corrupted gem alone!”

“I can't leave Pearl!” Bismuth said desperately, cradling her.

“Leave her with me!” Steven pleaded. “I have healing powers, I-I might be able to help whatever happened to her! But please, Bismuth, we need to help Connie out!”

Bismuth swallowed thickly. Every instinct in her was telling her to keep Pearl against her chest, keep her warm and safe and stable, but as Connie let out another shout, she knew she had to fight these sire urges. She knew the cry for help from a soldier anywhere, and that she had to act with immediate effect.

“Take care of her!” she ordered, thrusting Pearl into Steven's arms. She huddled weakly against him, shivering violently, and Steven hugged her close.

“Take care of Connie too,” he pleaded.

Bismuth rushed in the direction of a roar, and heard the clashing of a sword against a tree. Instinctively, she raised a fist, thrusting it into the side of the gem creature as it raised its paws, prepared to crush the human beneath it, trying in vain to yank the blade of her sword out of the side of a tree. The creature howled in pain and took a few stumbling feet back.

“A colourless quartz. Were you my friend?” cried Bismuth, trying to examine the gem on the monster's brow. “Were you a Crystal Gem? Or were you my enemy?”

“Y-You're Bismuth?” grunted Connie, toppling back as she finally unwedged the sword from the tree trunk.

“That's right. You must be Connie. A human Crystal Gem.” Bismuth held out a hand, hoisting her back to her feet. “I only wish we'd met under less terrifying circumstances.”

“Me too. Is Pearl all right?”

“Not really,” Bismuth admitted through gritted teeth. With a glow to her gem, her hand shapeshifted into a hammer-like shape. “You ready to fight?”

“Always.”

Connie brandished the sword, ready to strike, and Bismuth's gem flooded with bitterness as she laid eyes on it, remembering the very moment she gifted it to Rose. How her eyes had lit up. How she had showed it off to Pearl and Garnet and the others, gushed over how wonderful it was. How she had thrust it through Bismuth in the heat of their argument, saying softly, “I'm sorry it came down to this,” before Bismuth's form gave out.

She had a lot of bad memories associated with that sword, these days. Which was a pity, because she loved the fucking thing.

“Great,” she ground out. “Let's rock.”

Back at the warp pad, Steven encased himself and Pearl in a bubble, and he began frantically brushing the snow off of her skin, away from her face and hair. She shivered and gripped onto him, eyelids fluttering as she fought off the weakness resulting from the earlier fainting spell.

“Pearl, you have to talk to me,” he urged. “Tell me where it hurts.”

Through her delirium, she mumbled something.

“...em...”

“Gem? Your gem hurts?”

Steven reached out to touch it and immediately recoiled, both from the strange static energy crackling around it, and from the pained gasp from Pearl the moment he had tried to touch it. She tried weakly to move her head away.

“Sorry, sorry! But if it hurts, uh, maybe I can help!”

Awkwardly he licked his hand and, bracing himself, brought it down on Pearl's gem. The effect was instantaneous; she cried out in agony, he felt a sharp jolt of energy against the palm of his hand, and her gem seemed to calm soon after, the angry energy emitting from it soothing to something far more comfortable. He felt her body unclench a little in his arms, and he gave her another hug as she weakly mumbled against him.

“I'm sorry I had to do that,” he soothed. “I'm really sorry. Are you okay now? Does anything else hurt?”

She whimpered faintly, hands leaving him to grip at her front. A wave of nausea passed over him.

“Oh geez. The geodes – gemlings? Oh geez. Okay, uh, I-I don't know if I can do anything, b-but I'll try, okay?”

Pearl grunted, still pulling at her sash, as though to try and ease the pressure. Steven hastily reached back to pull the bow loose, and as she sash fell away, he realised her abdomen had the faintest rise to it.

“Stars,” he whispered. “They're real. The geodes are real.”

Quickly, he tugged up her shirt and applied more healing spit. There was no way of knowing if it would help – if the damage was already done, if it was too much for him to fix, if they were already... he didn't allow himself to dwell on it. Instead, he held Pearl close to him and began to push the bubble towards the warp pad, just hoping above all else that Connie and Bismuth were close to defeating the gem creature.

The monster came bounding out in front of him, and Bismuth slammed into it with her shoulder, sending it hurtling back into the snow. The creature grunted and sprung back to its feet, wobbling slightly. It was disorientated, and there was a shallow crack on the surface. With a howl, the corrupted gem began to glitch, letting out another alarmed screech and beginning to run dizzyingly in a circle, the pain sending it into a panic. Connie skidded to a halt in front of the bubble, wielding her sword high above her head. With one last snarl, she thrust it deep into the creature's chest cavity. It screeched again, scrabbling at the ground for a few moments, before poofing with a release of sweeping, snowy air.

Connie was knocked back against Bismuth, who scooped her up and grabbed the colourless quartz, bubbling it single-handedly. She marched over to the warp pad and held out Connie to Steven, as if readying to trade. Awkwardly, Steven lowered his bubble and handed Pearl to her, taking hold of Bismuth's bubble and sending it back to the bubble room.

“It's time to go home,” he said with a sigh, as Connie huddled up against him, shivering.

Bismuth hugged Pearl close, noting that she was beginning to warm up. She felt a pang of sadness in her gem and pressed a kiss to the top of Pearl's head, only hoping she'd have another opportunity to kiss her after this ordeal was over. She didn't want to end up beside that colourless quartz, trapped in a bubble for who knows how long while the others decided what to do with her.

But still... she couldn't afford to be selfish right now. She and Pearl had to put their offspring first, however unfair it felt to do so at the expense of her freedom.

“Yeah,” Bismuth murmured with a nod, rocking Pearl in her arms, knowing it was going to be heartbreaking to let go. “It's... it's time to go back.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost at the end, folks! buuuuut. it's POSSIBLE i'm working on a sequel. only slightly possible. no spoilers will be given at this time  
> anyway, let me know what you think? comment n stuff? that would be great and would mean a lot to me since i havent updated in like forever lol


	7. give us reprieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pearl and garnet talk, bismuth opens up about her feelings to steven, and a new chapter of life begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!!!!!!! I don't think that's ever happened to me before!!! I'm terrible at bringing things to completion!!  
> Anyway, WHO ELSE SCREAMED WHEN BISBABY CAME BACK LAST NIGHT!!!!!! I've been working on this chapter for a while now (in fact, the Pearl/Garnet scene was one of the first I ever wrote) but seeing Bismuth in the flesh again gave me the final push to complete it!!!!!!!

_ She's searching. She's searching everywhere. Every rock is tipped over, in case her gem is somewhere hidden. Every tree is cut down, every strawberry smashed, every traitor bubbled to clear a path to wherever she is. _

“ _ Bismuth!” Pearl screams, and her voice sounds hoarse. She's done a lot of screaming today, she realises. The battle started before dawn, Mercury still visible as rows upon rows of quartzes and agates charged, a ragtag group of Crystal Gems charging right back. They fought from sunrise until dusk. Pearl had reformed twice already, and she feels stiff in her physical form, shaky and nauseous from her rushed regenerations. _

_ She had considered it a victory at first, with the ziggurat secured and only a handful of their rebellion lost. But as the survivors gathered, roughed up, some cracked or chipped, Pearl realised with a cold, sinking feeling that Bismuth wasn't there. She hadn't seen her in... well, since the night before, but she had to have been there, right? She couldn't imagine a battle taking place without Bismuth. She was always there to kick a quartz in the teeth, punch a lapis lazuli in the gem. But glancing around, she was nowhere to be seen. _

_ So she tears through the fields, searching wildly, calling out to her, some lost little pearl soaked through to the skin as rain begins to pour, washing away shards and throwing knives and the bodies of three humans who had been caught in the crossfire. _

“ _ Bismuth!” she cries again, more desperately than before, her panic truly setting in. “Bismuth, come on, where are you?! Bismuth!” _

_ Bismuth is nowhere to be found. _

 

…

  
  


When Pearl came to, she was staring up at a familiar wooden ceiling.

Steven's room?

Briefly she wondered why that memory had surfaced in her mind – why she felt so cold all over, and so desperate to find her. Then it all came flooding back, the intense heat, the pulsing pain, the wrenching agony of being placed in Steven's arms while Bismuth left somewhere she couldn't follow. Her gem was aching, though it definitely felt better than when they had been at the Great North, and she was fading as Bismuth held onto her tightly, as her stomach cramped...

One hand reached for her gem. There was a damp flannel covering it, but beneath it was warm to the touch and pulsing ever so slightly. The other hand slid down to rest flat against her stomach. They were still there. It twinged to brush against them, like a bruising sensation, but they were still there. As she lay there, in a daze, she heard the sound of the kettle whistling.

With some effort, she turned her head and saw Garnet preparing some tea. Her back was to Pearl, but she uttered, “You're awake.”

Pearl sat up slowly, the flannel falling into her lap, and she rubbed at her eyes.

“I don't really remember much,” she admitted. “I don't even know how I got back here.”

Garnet poured the boiling water into Pearl's favourite crane-patterned teacup. “Bismuth took you to the Great North to use the wailing stone there. Peridot heard the message from inside the temple and contacted Steven. He helped bring you and Bismuth back to the temple, and Amethyst and I did what we could.”

“You saved the clutch,” Pearl said numbly, and didn't so much as risk a glance at Garnet as the scalding cup of tea was pressed into her hands.

“They didn't need saving,” Garnet responded simply, taking a seat beside her. “They weren't harmed in the attack, just... jostled.”

“A miracle in itself. I was sure they were beyond saving.”

“What you were experiencing were simply severe cramps from the geodes growing, and the unnatural placement of them due to the attack in the ice caverns. They're healthy. Steven's healing powers eased your pain, but they were fine.”

Pearl's cheeks flooded with colour. Stupid, foolish...! Of course she would experience growing pains, it was only natural to. Still, she had worried Bismuth, and caused such a scene for the others...

A gemmed hand cupped her cheek.

“Pearl, you could have come to us.”

She turned away. She didn't deserve Garnet's sympathy at such a time. After all, this was trouble she had caused for all of them, that could have been prevented with some rational thinking. But of course, what in a dame's nature was rational? How had she thought for a moment that Garnet or Amethyst would punish her?

“I...” She gripped the cup tightly. “I...”

“Tell me what you were so afraid of. Please.” Garnet's voice softened, and it sent tears springing to Pearl's eyes. “It... it surely wasn't me.”

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “No, of course not, Garnet, it... I... I don't know how to describe what's happening to me. I know, I know that it would have been so much easier to be honest with what was going on, but this part of my mind was just... it was so consumed by the thought of protecting my clutch. I just needed to be with her.”

“Bismuth,” Garnet said softly. Pearl nodded, a sob escaping her throat before she could hold back.

What she wasn't expecting was the warm arms pulling her into a hug.

“We're the crystal gems,” Garnet said sternly, tenderly, arms tight around her. “We support each other. We rely on each other, even if it's scary. We've been fine for a while now, Pearl.”

“I'm sorry for everything,” Pearl sniffled, wishing she could convey these words in a way that Garnet would understand just  _ how _ sorry she was. Not just for running – for lying, for getting pregnant at such a clodding inconvenient time, for the incident with Sardonyx and for all the yelling and tears that came before that (even, the tiniest voice reminded her mockingly, the things she could never,  _ ever _ tell her). Garnet had always been there for her, a steady support, listening patiently and silently loving, and... and Pearl had been a star-forsaken fool for doubting her, even for a second. She knew that now.

“Shh. What's done is done. What you need to do now is move forward.” Garnet cupped her cheek, their eyes meeting for the first time since Pearl had woken, and she realised Garnet's visor was gone. Her eyes looked weary, but also hopeful. “You need to tell me what you're going to do next.”

Pearl blinked, trying to clear her vision of tears that just kept swimming to the surface anyway. What she was going to  _ do? _

“You mean about the gemlings,” she whispered, and Garnet nodded. It was a good question. But then, if it was as simple as just destroying them, would she have even run? “It's hard to say. I can barely distinguish my own feelings from these instincts in my gem, telling me to keep them safe.”

“You're still coming down from the adrenalin you felt after the attack,” Garnet said gently. “If you give it a little more time, things will become clearer.”

She took a shaky sip of her tea, the flavour against her tongue sending calming waves throughout her form. Pearl took this moment of relative peace to glance around the room.

“Did you poof Bismuth?” she asked, and just like that, the tremor in her voice had returned. “She said... she said she didn't care, so long as I was safe. But, but  _ I _ care, she  _ shouldn't _ be-”

“She's not bubbled, Pearl,” Garnet interrupted, a warm gemmed hand resting against the small of her back, comforting. “Of  _ course _ she's not bubbled.”

Pearl stared up at her in confusion.

“B-But... I unbubbled her, w-without consulting you or Amethyst first.”

“It was never a permanent solution, Pearl,” Garnet said softly, sheepishly. She looked away with a troubled expression. “We always said we would figure out what to do next, it's just... acknowledging that it happened is painful to think about.”

“She deserves what we've had for hundreds of years, Garnet.” Pearl watched her for any trace of disagreement on her face, and found none. Thank the stars. “I believe Greg once said, there is no such thing as a good war. In that line of thought, there's no such thing as a good soldier, is there? We all did what we had to. She deserves a life to live as freely as any of us.”

Garnet nodded.

“Especially now that the two of you have to take care of each other.”

Pearl nodded, feeling her cheeks grow warm.

“I love her, Garnet. And regardless of what we decide for the gemlings... I want her to have her freedom, even if she doesn't want to stay.”

Garnet nodded, a small smile on her face.

“We’ll work something out. I promise.”

 

…

 

Bismuth sat on the beach, overlooking the waves. Every instinct was telling her to return to the beach house to check up on Pearl, make sure she wasn’t upset or in any discomfort… but Garnet had told her simply (after giving her the tightest hug she’d ever gotten - she was  _ really _ channeling her inner ruby that time) that she and Pearl needed to talk first. Bismuth could come by later, when she was awake and they had discussed what had happened.

Not knowing what was happening was making her antsy.

“Bismuth!”

She wrenched her gaze away from the churning water to see Steven standing just a few feet away. He was holding some sort of ball in his hand, and he held it out to her.

“I, uh… I got us doughnuts, if you wanna share.”

“Doughnuts?” she asked blankly.

“Oh, right! They’re, uh, fried food. Like the pizza we tried that time, you liked it, right? Except, well, this is sweet, so… do you like sweet things?”

Bismuth pondered the question, thinking back to how sweet Pearl had tasted in the sea spire. Sweet was good, but she wasn’t sure these ‘dough nuts’ would hold any comparison whatsoever.

“I guess.”

“Great!” Steven held out the dough ball to her, secured in a napkin. “It has a jam filling. I hope you like jam.”

Whatever jam was, Bismuth would go along with it. It seemed that this was a peace offering of sorts; an invitation for them to talk. It was a distraction she’d gladly take, if it meant she wasn’t constantly fighting the urge to stare up at the beach house, in the hopes that she would see Pearl emerge.

She took the peace offering and held it in her hands, watching as Steven took a seat. As he took a bite of his own doughnut, she cautiously did the same.

“Do you like it?”

_ Did _ _ she like it? _

“I… I don’t know yet. It’s new. It will take some time to get used to,” she offered. She hoped Steven understood.

He perked up. “Yeah! Uh, I get it. Some things take a bit of time to adjust to,” he began awkwardly. “So… I think we just have to be patient. See how things play out.”

“A wise move.”

They lapsed into silence. Bismuth was used to long pauses, being friends with the likes of Pearl and Garnet, two gems who had a tendency of getting stuck in their own heads. She was always fine with that in the past; after all, she had a big voice and plenty of opinions to share, so it was no hassle to fill the silence with anecdotes and structural infodumping until something gave in the conversation and her friends picked up again. But this wasn’t the war, and she’d been out of commission for so long, she’d simply run out of things to fill silences with.

Steven seemed to realise this, at least, fidgeting awkwardly before blurting out, “Bismuth, do you love Pearl?”

Bismuth stopped munching her bite of doughnut and turned to face him. He was frowning down at his hands, refusing to look at her properly.

“I do,” she admitted. “I care for her a lot.”

“But are you in love with her?” he clarified. He met her gaze uneasily. “Garnet said that the reason Pearl ran off with you was because of some kind of instinct you had. Because of the gemlings. So… do you guys really love each other? Or is it just because of the geodes that you're acting this way?”

“You're really hitting me with the heavy questions today, meatball,” Bismuth said with a forced laugh. She sat back, staring up at the sky, a rich blue, and the vanilla clouds drifting overhead. “I honestly can't say how Pearl feels about me, Steven. Whether it's love, or just because she's carrying, remains to be seen. It's something we'll have to talk over when she's ready. But I've been crazy about her for far longer than when we conceived.”

Steven frowned and peered up at her.

“You've loved her since… the rebellion?”

“Yep.” Bismuth smiled wistfully. “It wasn't as simple as her being someone else's. She belonged to no one, and she was very proud of that. But she was deeply in love with Rose. We may have played around during those days, but I knew that I was no competition for Rose Quartz.”

Steven had stars in his eyes.

“Bismuth, that's - that's so romantic! You've loved Pearl for five thousand years!!”

“Unintentionally,” she pointed out bitterly. “Because her lover sealed me away and never told her about me.”

Steven winced. “I'm… I'm sorry.”

Bismuth sighed heavily. “I'm furious. But… not at you. Because you're not  _ her, _ are you?”

Steven shook his head, and Bismuth closed her eyes.

“Seven hundred years, I loved Pearl. For a while she was a threat, intimidating and isolated. Then she was my rival, an adversary who I would make new swords for just to fight against her in a spar. After that she became my friend.”

“It sounds like she really cared about you too.”

“Yeah, she did.” Bismuth huffed out a laugh. “We kissed a few times, fooled around in the Forge. But I think the day we became one was the first time that I held her full attention.”

Bismuth’s eyelids drooped, and she squeezed the doughnut in her hands, watching in fascination as red oozed out. It reminded her of the battlefield, of crushed strawberries and human blood.

“It took five thousand years for her to notice me, Steven. If we define our relationship as love, it needs work, and a lot of it too.”

“Love takes time, and love takes work,” Steven said sagely, and Bismuth cracked a smile. She could hear the unmistakable  _ Garnet _ in his voice.

“All right, love expert. Me and Pearl may not be the power couple that make up Garnet, but I’d still be willing to give it a shot. If that’s what she wants.”

“...I’d like to give it a try.”

Bismuth’s body seized, and she jumped to her feet, doughnut abandoned. She spun around to see Pearl standing a few feet away. Her eyes were lowered sheepishly, her arms held out in front of her, hands clasped in a way that suggested she was ready to talk.

“Pearl,” Bismuth said softly. It was there again, the pull - the pull to run to her, take her into her arms and simply exist with her, in a way not even fusion could describe. “Are you all right? How are you feeling now? D-Did Garnet talk to you?”

“I’m fine,” Pearl clarified, a little embarrassed at Bismuth’s concern. “So are the geodes. Oh, I’m so sorry that I worried you.”

Her gaze travelled up to meet Bismuth and her fingers flexed. She was itching too, Bismuth realised, resisting the invisible force drawing them together. They were both holding back. Bismuth’s eyes filled with tears, and she sank to her knees.

“Oh. Oh, Pearl. I’m s-so glad…” Bismuth gasped, and Pearl rushed over to sit beside her as she began to cry. “Everything has been so stressful… I-I really thought, back there…”

“I’m so sorry,” Pearl said again, resting a soothing hand on Bismuth’s shoulder and squeezing. “Bismuth, I… I was selfish, and it could have ended badly, but it didn’t. I’m sorry for worrying you, b-but it’s okay. I’m here.” She rested their foreheads together, and Bismuth felt the overly warm pulsing of Pearl’s gemstone against her brow. She took one of Bismuth’s much larger hands in her own, and guided it down to press against the slight swell of her stomach. “ _ They’re _ here.”

“I know,” Bismuth sniffed, “I know now. Pearl, listen to me. I don’t want to push you into anything because of the geodes. If you choose to have them or not, if you choose to have me or not… I don’t want to put you in this position where it’s an impossible choice. I just want you to know, whatever happens, I-I don’t want you to feel like you have no one. You have your family. Garnet, Amethyst, Steven… and you have  _ me, _ too. As your sire, or otherwise.”

“Okay,” whispered Pearl. She released Bismuth’s hand, instead reaching up to cup her cheeks. “Bismuth, thank you for being here for me. I mean it, I… I don’t know what I would have done. I’ve been stubborn, a - a real piece of work over this, and you’ve been wonderful. You helped bring me home.”

Bismuth cracked a grin, voice wobbling as she replied, “It’s all part of our little bismuth arrangement, right? I… I look out for you.”

Pearl’s eyes shone with tears, and she hugged Bismuth tightly, breath quickening as she felt the warmth of Bismuth’s gem digging lightly into her chest. Bismuth’s arms wound around her, big and secure, her lifeline.

“I want to try and make this work,” whispered Pearl. “I still need some time to think things over, but… we’ll try our best, right?”

“I’ll do whatever I have to,” Bismuth promised. She let out a heavy sigh. “I just hope this isn’t temporary.”

“No!” Pearl held on tighter, desperately. “Never! Bismuth, this - this is your  _ life. _ Nothing could keep you away from your freedom now. I’m not letting you go.”

They hugged for a ittle while longer, until Pearl pulled away and murmured, “Your hand is all sticky.”

“Steven gave me a ‘dough nut’,” Bismuth explained, noting the sticky strawberry trail left on her hand. With a slight wince, Pearl drew a handkerchief out of her gem and wiped Bismuth’s hand clean, giggling a little as Bismuth asked her to explain the function of a doughnut.

Steven watched the scene before him, realising as they launched back into another hug that he wasn’t needed here. Not now. He headed back towards the beach house, stopping at the sight of Garnet and Amethyst sat on the deck chairs, watching Bismuth and Pearl hugging it out on the beach.

“Doesn’t it make ya sick?” teased Amethyst, as Steven took a spare seat beside them. “These lovebirds.”

“Nothing is sickening about true love,” Steven corrected, and Amethyst hooted with laughter.

“True love? Sure, maybe some day. But for right now, it’s all about  _ lust,  _ Steve-o.”

“Wh - that’s not true!” Steven cried, feeling his cheeks redden a little. “They’re the real deal! Right, Garnet?”

Garnet gave him a small smile.

“Bismuth told you how long she’s been in love with Pearl,” she stated. He nodded.

“Yeah. She said… Seven hundred years. And that doesn’t even include the five thousand she was stuck in Lion’s mane for!”

“Seven hundred years, huh?” drawled Amethyst. “Impressive, must be gettin’ serious.”

“Five thousand.”

Both Amethyst and Steven exchanged confused glances, before addressing Garnet. “What?”

“Pearl has loved Bismuth for five thousand years,” Garnet said calmly, but the smile on her face was clear as day. “She’s been  _ in _ love with Bismuth for six weeks, four days and eighteen hours.”

“That’s… not very long.”

“It’s a start.”

Amethyst yawned. “Well… I’m gonna go check on Peri. Her and Connie are still trying to put together that dumb scanner.”

“I think Connie was trying to explain ultrasound to her earlier,” Steven said with a sheepish grin. “She didn’t understand why people got so excited about finding out baby genders.”

“I don’t get it either. Like, it’s a baby. What else are you expecting?” Amethyst stood up and shapeshifted herself into an eagle, blowing a raspberry at the both of them before swooping off in the direction of the barn.

Steven sat in silence for a few moments, watching the smallish figures of Pearl and Bismuth on the shore as they continued to hug and hold a conversation he had no way of hearing, their statements punctuated by short kisses.

“Garnet?” he murmured. She turned to him, and said nothing.

“They’re gonna be okay, right?” Steven continued, feeling silly even asking it. “It’s been a crazy couple of days. They’ve both been through so much, I mean, Pearl might be having baby gems, Bismuth is unbubbled again, they’re starting a relationship after running all over the planet and almost becoming gemcicles in a snowstorm - just - are they gonna be okay?”

Garnet reached over and squeezed his hand.

“I can’t predict everything. New life, in particular, has always been challenging for me,” she admitted. “But I see a lot of good futures. They’ll be fine.”

“New life… So there  _ is _ a chance of baby gems in the future!” Steven perked up, beaming from ear to ear, and Garnet chuckled.

“Perhaps. It isn’t my call to make.”

“Geez, I’m excited! Everything’s changing!”

Steven’s voice melted into white noise as Garnet’s mind flickered through various possibilities. She saw… Bismuth and Pearl, together and happy, Bismuth’s hands guarding Pearl’s rounded stomach protectively. She saw Bismuth and Pearl, hands entwined, happy as ever, with not a geode in sight. She saw the two of them parting ways, on bittersweet terms, furious terms, devastated terms. She saw Pearl raising gemlings without Bismuth. She saw Bismuth sticking around, but their touches were stiff, their smiles forced. She saw the two of them leading separate lives, no gemlings to their name, not a single lingering memory of the way their destinies had once been entwined.

There was a lot in store for them, and a lot of ways the future could change from this moment onwards. But for right now, as she sat on the decking watching her best friends holding each other like they were the only two gems in existence, she found herself reminded of another pair of gems, once so helplessly lost themselves, depending on each other for the courage to make it day to day. A big decision had been on the table then, as well.

_ They’ll figure it out, _ Garnet thought to herself.  _ They’ll soon know the answer. _

 

…

 

**_A month later_ **

 

“Why are we up here again?” Bismuth asked, brow quirked in confusion.

“Have some patience,” Pearl teased, leading her further up the hill. It was getting a little more difficult to cover steeper climbs these days, now that the geodes were taking up more room in her body. It wasn’t so much the size of them as it was the  _ weight _ \- four heavy rocks in her abdomen, weighing the rest of her body down like she was wading through rushing water. “It’s not far from here now.”

She saw the tree stump before she even saw the sprawling fields. Normally at this time of year it would be starting to bloom, rich pink cherry blossom petals, but it had been cut down over a year ago now, and she found herself mournful at the thought. So many things were changing these days; not all changes were as welcome.

“This was my favourite spot,” Pearl announced, slowly lowering herself onto the tree stump to relieve the pressure. “This used to be the resting place of a large cherry blossom tree. It would bloom at the beginning of each spring, and the petals would spill over the entire town. It… it was really beautiful. I wish you could have seen it, Bismuth.”

“Me too,” Bismuth sighed. “It’s a gorgeous view. But hey, they can’t all be winners.” She turned to face Pearl, grinning, and suggested, “We could plant a new one. It wouldn’t be the same, but maybe that isn’t so bad. Maybe that’s exactly what needs to be done.”

Pearl cracked a smile.

“Maybe. It’s something we could think about. I’m sure there are much more exciting things you’ll be wanting to do in the next few months, though?”

“Oh, yeah! I want to do all sorts of things,” Bismuth exclaimed, arms reaching out at the stretching hills beyond Beach City. “I want to see human structures, I want to see the eroding structures I was once forced to make. I want to see what the Earth has to offer, even after time has passed.” She turned to smile at Pearl. “But I want you there too. And Garnet, and Amethyst and Steven. Our little sightseeing tour last month was cut short, and once the gemlings arrive we'll be anchored here more, right? It makes sense to enjoy it now, while we can. Because if everything is changing, it's something I want to experience while I can. With the gem that I love.”

She flopped down beside Pearl, who leaned up to kiss her softly, with purpose.

“Whatever comes next, Bismuth, it will be your choice. I won't let anyone else keep you from existing how you are,” she said, with a fierce determination that made Bismuth grin from ear to ear.

“Now that's the renegade I know,” she giggled, pulling Pearl into her lap. She rested a large hand against Pearl's belly thoughtfully. “With the two biggest renegades in the rebellion for parents, I wonder how sprightly our own clutch will turn out?”

“Oh, please don't jinx it,” Pearl pleaded, rolling her eyes. “Amethyst has already been saying how she's going to mentor them in the art of pranking. Rest assured, the next few hundred years will be no picnic.”

Bismuth burst out laughing and pressed kiss after kiss against the top of Pearl's head.

“Honestly? I can't wait.”

“Yeah,” Pearl sighed, resting back against Bismuth’s chest. “Neither can I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking excited for the wedding yall don't even know. I'm wearing my best waistcoat, ordering takeout, knocking back a few drinks. Royal wedding whomst????  
> Anyway, I really wanna make the Running sequel happen because there's a lot more I'd like to explore with this fic, stuff like the Lapis/Bismuth drama, the whole "Rose is PD" mess (and how that would affect the bispearl relationship) and an egg hell concept I've been thinking of for a while that I'd like to write about (also, ofc, getting to know the actual gemlings, and Pearl and Bismuth being the cutest moms). So while I make no promises, I'll do my best!  
> Thank you to everyone who's stuck through reading this fic! It means so much to me that people did! Here's hoping more bispearl fics emerge now that Bisbaby is Bisback in Bismuth! <3


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